June 12

Q&A Jayne and the Elders – June 2020

QUESTION: Many people are depending on me right now to help them through the current pandemic, both personally and professionally and quite frankly I am struggling with my own fears around this. I know I need to calm down to be able to bring my resources to any conversation and yet I often find myself feeling panicky about all the uncertainty and sometimes I struggle with my own despair. What should I do? Name supplied.

ANSWER: Thank you for your question, just having the courage to ask this, we know was something very different for you as you don’t readily ask for help, even when you find yourself in crisis mode. This can be a turning point for you, to know that you are not alone, and most importantly that you are not the only one experiencing these volatile emotions right now. It is normal and so are you. We want you to know that being able to tap into the stream of real calm that lies within, it is actually a practice, not just a state of being and even the best strategies in the world can’t completely prepare you for the gut-churning moments when a real crisis, like this hits. When you find yourself confronted with the unexpected there aren’t any meditation techniques that can make the pain magically disappear, but the good news is you can learn to deal with difficult situations more effectively when they arise.

In any crisis the natural human response is to resist or deny what is happening. You may feel the urge to escape naturally arise within your body, to try to make the source of the upset disappear as quickly as possible. The rules for how to handle this are the same in extreme situations as they are in everyday life: take a moment to pause, breathe a little deeper and allow yourself to receive the information coming from your body and soul, including the intuition from your higher self. This is how you can begin to embrace (or create) real calm for yourself. The answer toy our challenges lie within. The truth is life

can be difficult. The best way is to practice calm, as opposed to trying to be calm. Just accepting, honoring and acknowledging what is going on for you can be an enormous help. You choose when you want to be calm. You can learn to be calm when you want to be, and you already know how to avoid dramas internally and externally, don’t you?

We want you to know that no-one is immune to these feelings right now, and many are finding that they can’t rely on adrenaline to power themselves through in a crisis. When you get an adrenal rush, as many did in the early weeks of the pandemic, the adrenal gland gets a ping of energy that eventually fizzles out. But then you want more, and before you know it, you need that buzz to keep going. Don’t get hooked here, adrenaline is short-lived and not the answer. This is a marathon not a sprint.

You already know that change is one of life’s constants. Use this to empower yourself, it can help you through and allow you to inspire others along the way. If you get stuck in a situation that’s getting you down, remind yourself that this too will pass. And rather than berating yourself over the hardship you are facing, you might thrive better by being kind to yourself. Don’t turn what you are facing into a mental horror movie. Your mind is attuned to threats, reframe them by understanding that these are merely thoughts/feelings arising, that often project a future that is nowhere near as bad as what you might be imagining. Self compassion and kindness are key. You need to find your own way to practice dealing with the challenges that come your way. You can learn to become friendlier to yourself, to become more confident when managing challenging situations and to stop worrying about the past or future by coming into the present moment. It’s also clear that you will grow calmer by not trying so hard to be calm. Be mindful not to create more stress for yourself and let go of the need for things to be different.

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